Grief

Today was the funeral for Nate Lawrence. He has been Sebastian’s house-mate for 12 years. He has also been a dear friend to Andy, and to me. The Pacific Garden Chapel was full. The first piece was a musical composition by his brother Dan and two musical friends, a singer with a great voice, and a harp player– Irish harp. The piece was accompanied by underwater footage of Nate’s, which was gorgeous, and went perfectly with the gentle harp notes, and piano riffs, in a song about this peaceful place. There was also a video clip of Nate’s hands on a guitar, playing a riff, which was super-poignant. The film was extensive, and earlier we also saw the footage of rock-crawling, and other fun activities, and how much Nate was out in nature, seeing the beauty of the world.

I feel about him like he was another son of mine. I spoke about the time he asked me to stitch his finger, which had a very deep gash in it, and was bleeding profusely, after a fishing adventure. I had gotten a small kit, in case I needed to suture something like this, and I did have a tiny bit of local anesthesia. So I did it. It was deep, and we cleaned it well, and I gave him some local, and put 3 stitches in, pretty deep, to try to snugly reduce the swelling, and maybe bind a lacerated small arteriole. He didn’t even wince, he just said “thank you.” So many of these young men didn’t have insurance, and it would have been expensive to go to the E.R. I worried, but it did heal ok. He and Sebastian loved to spear fish off the Point at Asilomar. Once we had a BBQ right there, with the guys still half-in their wetsuits. Freshest fish in the world!

As I think it over now, I believe he was a Druid. He was a magical person, with the leprechaunish sense of humor, super-intelligent, and intuitively gifted. He taught himself to play the guitar, and he figured out all the best pieces of equipment needed for any endeavor, and got them for himself and Sebastian. He was so deeply connected to nature, and immersed himself in it. He was a great friend and counselor to many of the guys who were in their circle of friends, and always ready to lend a hand. He had a big soul, a deep soul. I feel that he did all that work to heal after that terrible crippling accident 3 years ago, and he made it, and was moving into a better future. And then this happened. We will miss him forever.